This isnt personal How to diplomatically fire your friend

This isnt personal How to diplomatically fire your friendThis isnt personal How to diplomatically fire your friendNothing feels better than onboarding a friend - someone you know, trust, and can speak bluntly to, right? Nobody imagines that when they hire or partner with a friend, they may one day need to fire them, but thats often the case.Hiring friends can lead to the very best, and the very worst outcomes. If you have the fortitude to weather the latter, then it might be well worth the risk. For instance, my fellow co-founder, David Mainiero, has been my best friend since freshman year of college, and I cant imagine running my business without him.Still, having fired friends a few times before, I thought I would pass along a step-by-step guide on how to confront what may be every entrepreneurs worst nightmare.1. Realize that, either way, your friendship is overMost individuals Ive spoken to tell me their biggest concern is that firing their friend will jeopardize their relations hip.She wont forgive me Indeed, she may not forgive you. But one thing is certain if you dont call it quits when the business relationship clearly isnt working out, it will beyouwho does not forgivethem.If you are debating whether to fire a friend, chances are that your friendship is already over you just dont know it yet. Hopefully, your friend will handle their termination with grace and forgiveness, but thats the exception, not the rule.2. Focus on the legal situation at handNow that youve schwefellost your friend, things could get ugly, and its time to get your legal approach in order. Oftentimes, when people feel personally invested, they tend to overlook those pesky legal details. But its precisely during that time that you should pay particular attention. Youd be surprised by the number of legal issues that arise due to personal, rather than business-related, issues.Read your friends employment agreement, and if necessary, the operating agreement for your company. If your fr iend is just an employee, consult an employment lawyer in your state, or if theyre a partner, consult an attorney. Be sure to ask what your rights are, what his/her rights are, and how you can make termination legal and incontestable.Before your friend has even an inkling that you intend to fire them, you should essentially have your entire approach planned out.3. Set up an in-person meetingMuch like breaking up with a significant other, firing a friend should be done face to face. Once youve gathered yourself and your legal strategy, its time to send them an email setting up a place and time to chat.It will behoove you not to betray your intentions at this meeting. Youve made up your mind, and this is whats best for your business. If you make it clear that youre coming in guns blazing, youll only give them more of an opportunity to prepare.Remember that self-preservation is human instinct, and if you were in their position, you wouldalsoleverage feelings of personal attachment and guilt to keep your job. They will likely do the same, and providing advance warning will only make it worse.4. Be honest and transparentThis is where things get really difficult, because you dont want to hurt your friends feelings. As well, your friend (hopefully) doesnt want to let you down or lose their job. If you arent extremely direct, open and firm, youre going to find yourself in an argument about how you can make things work. But this isnt the time for an argument this is the time for separation.So, muster up all the courage you have, look directly at your friend and say, Im going to be completely honest. This isnt working out, and I dont believe we can work together. Im very sorry, and it hurts me to do this.Afterward, you may choose to provide examples and justifications. Give your friend the opportunity to vent, ask questions, and generally be angry. If possible, explain how your own shortcomings have contributed to the situation. But dont lie or sugarcoat your comments. The correct answer to, I wasntthatbad is not, I know, Im just looking for something else. Its, Yes, you were that bad.This may seem unduly harsh, but there are only two options from your friends perspective. Either a) They couldnt meet your expectations, or b) Youre a horrible friend who couldnt give your best friend a break. Trust me, you do not want the latter.5. Remind your friend that this wasnt personalThis entire affair means that you must remain dispassionate. Its adifficult thing to do, but its necessary. Once its clear that the business relationship has ended, remind your friend that this has nothing to do with your friendship, that you hope you can remain friends, and that you will help them however you can.Joel Butterly is the co-founder ofInGenius Prep, an admissions consulting company.This article first appeared at BusinessCollective.